The Nothing Factor

A few weeks ago, I wrote quoting a friends question,  "Jess, what would happen if you didn't make challah?".  I answered nothing.  A mere "nothing" would  be such a powerful lack of connection, that I'm overcome with the need to make challah and keep Shabbas to avoid that void at all cost. Funny enough in three years of continuous challah making, I could not make challah last week.  Last Friday, I'd come home from a night of fighting off IV phobias and less than understanding nurses.  I didn't have enough energy to start the challah process.   I guarantee I won't be able to recall with clarity every Friday and every challah batch made.  Yet, I am sure I will easily be able to remember the times I could not.   In missing my first batch of challah, I hope that my children might feel that kind of void when they fall off the derech.  My husband David and I are constantly trying to keep our children on the derech (path) of an observant Jew.  We teach in practice not in barking orders.  Minutes before Shabbat we drop all mundane tasks and blast songs welcoming in Shabbat.  Everything for Shabbat is special; our clothes, the challah, the meals prepared in advance, and even the games we play at the dinner table.  All three kids know it is Shabbat with out us telling them.  It's in the air and it's potent.   We're very aware every child looks to rebel.   All we, as their life Sherpas/parents, can do is guide them to better places.   The road not traveled is too tempting and I expect them each to slightly journey off their religious path.  My wish as a parent is that the "nothing", the feeling of not keeping our faith and it's customs, will be so empty that they return to their derech stronger. Shabbat Shalom and may every Jew find their way home this and every Shabbas.