Ah...how about I sleep when I'm alive.

I've often quoted my Bubby with great pride, "ah, you sleep when you're dead". These are words she lived by, she (and my mom) oozed a can-do attitude that I emulate everyday. I do this to an excrutiatingly painful fault. Ask for help? Not make it, do it, create it myself....absurd! I've been a huge fan of the 2 good hands and 2 good (decent) legs theory. You got them, use them. In a nutshell, to really take Bubby's creto to a new level of dumb I live life by the quotable, "Sleeping is for loosers, I don't want to miss a moment". Until... I avoided every last sign my body and Gd flashed. Huge warning signs that all began around Pesach when I passed out at a friends house, enjoyed multiple Iv's at the hospital, and spells of vertigo while driving. Each new occurrence would shake me, just enough, to relent to a day of calm; only to have me off the side lines and back in the Superbowl. Until Until... This past Friday when I blacked out (while carrying a vacuum) down the staircase. My miraculous 6 year old Willow called her Dad and waited on the porch for the paramedics. After a trip to the hospital and some hours on a fetal monitor, BH the baby's ok and I'm just bruised and sore. When I think about what could have, would have, maybe even should have been after the fall I'm rocked to my very core. My favorite quotable has had to change... "I'll sleep now, when by the very grace of Gd, I'm alive!". I'll spend the money now for help while blood runs throug these stubborn veins. And most importantly, I'll accept help from the wide span of friends I'm blessed enough to have." No wo-man is an island and Gd created us to give and receive from each other. To everything turn turn turn...and the season has come for me to be the helped not the helper. Funny enough I was just about to take a huge job as a creative director in the heart of the fashion industry. It was offered without interview and came with so many monetary perks. When I went to see the offices, I spun around in circles ala Mary Tyler Moore ready to yet again "turn the fashion world on with my smile". And just like Ace of Base croons..."I saw the sign...and I opened up my eyes...". When I came to from my staircase debauchery, my first thought was not of perfect jobs, paid yeshiva tuitions, or clean houses...it was a simple flash of thank you to Gd for yet another day to spend with my family and friends. Thank you to all my friends who have helped soo much. And especially to Gd, that sent me some crazy hazard signs that I'm just noticing on the journey. Good Shabbas...and still making challah...